An Open Letter to Everyone Who Thinks I’m Not ‘Wife Material’







With a Patiala peg in my left hand I was dancing on the beats of ‘Move to Miami’ when this so-called friend came close and started throwing unwanted trash out of his mouth.
“You’re pretty. You work hard, but you know you should just improve yourself a bit now. You’re 25 and soon you might get married. Make yourself wife-material. Be marriage-type.”
I didn’t know what to say. In the most difficult situations of life, when you don’t know what to say, not only your brain stops working but your other body parts stop responding too.
I stood still there, my mouth was dry, and I moved out of the party immediately.

I drove as fast as I possibly could.  

Here I am, standing in front of a wall mirror, trying to gather all my thoughts.
This was the perfect time for me to introspect and figure out what exactly is wrong with me?

When I was born, my dad didn’t say “A future-wife is born! I am going to raise her as a marriage-material”.

 When I got first price in singing competition in Class-6, I was not thinking about singing lullabies to my future kids.

When I post graduated and got a job I didn’t think about expecting decent rishtas for myself soon after it.

When I will hold someone’s hand and will take a man to be my husband, I will stand by him through thick and thin, through the darkest of his nights and the brightest of his days. I will protect him, defend him, love him and allow him to do the same for me, and for that I do not need to be wife material.

Yes! He is right. I am not a marriage material. I was not born to be a wife. I have my own identity.
I am not going to apologize if I earn more than they expect me to earn. I am not going to apologize if my rotis are not round. I am not going to apologize if I keep my choices loud and clear in front of you. I am not going to apologize just because I can handle more alcohol than you. I am not going to apologize if my personality is hampering your Male-Ego.
I was not born to be a ‘suppressed’ wife of a ‘decent-guy’. I was born to be an individual, with clear thoughts and clear choices. I was born to be a good human being first. Marriage is a choice, not necessity and my life doesn’t revolve around being a ‘successful’ wife someday.

So yes, I am accepting the fact that I am not wife-type and I'm proud of it. 





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Drop me a mail at:offbeatdaydreaming@gmail.com

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